My first entry as a full time national service MAN. BAH!
notice the emphasis on the M-A-N! no longer the act cute immature blur sotong boy boy (though i feel that i look more like a boyboy now according to some sources)..but a full fledged man.
Ns mah. Typical saying is that once you've been through NS you will be a man, so i shall stereotype here. Boo to u people who roll your eyes at this. LOL!
New experiences, new friends, new grounds, new level of breakthroughs. What matters most was that the Holy Spirit, God, was always there by my side. Through my ups and downs, without my cell members, without people of the same faith as me, sometimes its hard to carry on, with vulgarities hurled from side to side, with unknown territories to thread on during conversations, its a new warfare altogther.
But God was there.
Now i'm blogging this entry with georgie beside me, waiting for my turn at the doctor. agonizing wait. i HAVEN pack my field pack to book in yet! argh!
Learnt alot. Easter I wasnt there, but still God gave me visions of what easter was about, and is still for. Love as a sacrifice for a friend. I'm no Christ, I'm no Holy person. But the best I can do to start a friendship, to maintain one is when i sacrifice something for another person. Isnt it true, thats how friendships starts. When you let go of your differences, when you look past the faults and amke yourself accept someone, when you learn to love even when u feel like giving up counselling a depressed person, u r sacrficing something of utmost importance. For me, me time. For me, my own burdens, i place it in behind peoples'. Thats how i love other people.
God showed me my strengths, my weaknesses. No one is perfect. Only God is.
I thought i will give up after consecutive days of 4km route march to 6km route march to the different trainings after that to my IPPT cat test. I thought i would give up halfway everytime. But God always reminded me that He was and always will be there for me. I emerged 5th in my 2.4 km run. I endured through the 4km route march 6km route march. Now theres more to come. 8km, 12km, 16km, 24km, field camp. Seems tough, i dont know, but only this i know. God will always pull me through.
People may think that max is so high up there. Max is so sharp in the Spirit, so sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading, so full of wisdom in the supernatural stuffs. But when i entered the army, i know that God is making me to learn about Him, to love Him jus when I first converted. Its not like I'm moving backwards or what, but its a new level of faith, of encounters that God is preparing me for.
To do His will, not mine.
To lean on His strength and not mine.
Without God, I am nothing.
To explore new places of grounds which I've never gone before.
Seems like nothing, but for me everything there is a challenge.
I miss my family, I miss church, I miss my cell group.
I'm tired after trainings, and most of the time i felt like sleeping.
There doesnt seem to be anytime for worship, for prayers.
But yet, I want to press in, I didnt come so far just to go back.
I came so far because I want to carry on going forward !
When man is faithless, God is always faithful. When I take 1 step of FAITH towards God, He will take 10000 steps towards me. What an exchange!
Its hard, i know, when people are not there to encourage you, but somehow, deep in my Spirit, i know, someone is there praying for me. EVen when no one in this world is praying for me, I know Jesus is sitting at the right hand of the Father intercessing for me.
When I felt like the world is against me, when i cannot click into conversations of clubbing of girls of sexual stuffs, i miss my friends, but yet, I thank God for placing me in a section of people unlike most section, they are fiendly and helpful, vulgar but not to the extreme.
Hard for me to explain. but yeah. I'm sure smart poeple like you will get it.
Revelations come differently for me nowadays. God spoke to me more through my new life experiences, on how I should live my life, on how the poeple in the bible lived their lives. Things are so different, and the ironic thing is im only a sea away from mainland.
Ok my mind is blank now. So yeah. I'm off